The more you can involve yourself in the group, the more you will get out of it. In particular, try to identify the sorts of things that you find upsetting or bothersome. Try to be as open and honest as possible in what you say. Group time is precious; it is a place to be working on serious issues, not just passing the time of day. Listen hard to what people are saying, think through what they mean, and try to make sense of it. You can help others by letting them know what you make of what they say and how it affects you. Many of the issues talked about in groups are general human matters with which we can all identify. At the same time, listen hard to what others say to you about your part in the group. This process of learning from others is an important way to gain from the group experience.

One way of thinking about group is to view it as a "living laboratory" of relationships. It is a place where you can try out new ways of talking to people, a place to take some risks. You are a responsible member of the group and can help to make it an effective experience for everybody. A good way to think about how a group can help people is this: Consider a person risking a different way of talking about personal matters, getting some response from the other members that it sounds all right, and then learning from this experience.

Do your best to translate your inner reactions into words. Work hard to become aware of what you are thinking and what you are feeling, and then let the group know. Group is not a "tea party" where everything has to be done in a socially proper fashion. For example, while interruptions are usually unacceptable in social gatherings, in therapy groups they are often desirable. Group is a place to try to explore the meaning of what goes on and the reactions inside that get stirred up.

Remember that how people talk is as important as what they say. As you listen to others and as you think about what you yourself have been saying, try to think beyond the words to the other messages being sent. Sometimes the meaning of the words does not match the tone of voice or the expression on the face.

Because the group is a place to learn from the experience itself, it is important to focus on what is happening inside the group room between the members and between each member and the leader. Often, understanding these relationships throws new light on outside relationships. Many people have found it helpful to think about themselves in terms of the things they know and don't know about themselves, and the things that others know or don't know. One of the tasks in group is to try to help members become more known to others and to themselves by three main methods: 1) talk about things that you normally keep hidden about yourself or speak about thoughts concerning others (self-disclosure), 2) listen to what others are saying about what might be your blind spots (feedback), and 3) listen hard and think hard so that you can understand more about yourself (insight).

In addition to the spontaneous interactions between members that groups often use to help the client achieve his or her goals, some group leaders may rely on some other techniques as well. In some groups there may be some teaching in the form of lectures, focused discussions, handouts or readings. Some leaders may use structured exercises or homework to enhance the learning process. Such additional aids to learning about oneself and others can be extremely helpful if you give it your full effort.

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